Song of Understanding

If you feel I abused you
I never meant to hurt you
It was my playful inner child
trying to befriend you

If you thought I yelled at you
I was not yelling at you
It was my inner rage against my past
Coming out as confessions so true

If you thought I wanted you
I did not want you
It was my heart reaching for the moon when I'd been trapped inside too long

They say if you reach for the moon
You will at least land among the stars
Well I reached for you
And it rocketed me so far
Deep into space
Infinity and beyond
through two black holes
Never to return to anything there was

Kindness is silence in space
Your kindness was silence in space

I can hear it now
I hear the silence now

But I am still a loud, brash child
A crying, running kind of gal
So I just want to shout out loud
I am so sorry if I hurt you
so sorry I might have abused you
but I am terrible at transitions
better at positions
that put me in a place of loneliness
I must confess
Because I live like a lone wolf
That can't fit into your circle
of fourths
But maybe someday
I will learn the music
heed the silence
and use well tempered force

Maybe there's still hope for understanding
Hope was all I ever wanted to hear
Actually, no
I didn't even want your words
I just wanted your arms around me

Kindness is silence in space
Arms circle an eternal embrace

Part of a Creative Writing Project: Letters to Geographer 2015-2016

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